Serving MD, NY & NJ
Personality Patterns & Sense of Self Concerns
Virtual psychoanalytic therapy for personality patterns, intense emotions, relationship difficulties, and sense of self concerns in Maryland, New York, and New Jersey.
When your emotions, relationships, or sense of self feel hard to understand.
You may feel things intensely and quickly. One moment, you may feel okay; the next, it can feel as though everything is falling apart. A small interaction, perceived rejection, or shift in someone’s tone can leave you feeling anxious, angry, ashamed, hopeless, or deeply alone.
You may find yourself wondering, “Is it me or them?” Relationships may feel especially confusing or painful. You may want closeness but fear being hurt, left, misunderstood, or disappointed. At times, it may feel as though chaos, conflict, or drama keeps following you, even when that is the last thing you want.
You may also have a sense that something inside feels “off,” but have a hard time putting it into words. You may have tried therapy, read the self-help books, learned skills, or worked hard to feel better—yet still feel that something more is going on.
What Are Personality Patterns?
We all develop patterns in how we feel, cope, connect with others, and understand ourselves. Some patterns may have helped you get through difficult experiences or relationships earlier in life, but may no longer feel sustainable.
You may struggle with quickly shifting emotions, intense reactions, self-criticism, fear of abandonment, difficulty trusting others, or feeling unsure of who you are outside of your relationships. You may feel deeply affected by what other people think, need, or feel, and lose touch with your own needs in the process.
These experiences are not character flaws, and they are not evidence that you are “too much.” They are important parts of your emotional life that deserve attention, curiosity, and care.
Sense of Self
A strong sense of self does not mean feeling confident or certain all the time. It means having an internal sense of who you are—your feelings, values, needs, limits, and wants—even when relationships or life circumstances become difficult.
When this sense of self feels unsteady, you may feel empty, disconnected, overly dependent on others’ approval, or unsure of what you truly want. You may shift how you present yourself depending on who you are with, or feel as though you do not fully know who you are when you are alone.
In psychoanalytic psychotherapy, we can think together about how these experiences developed and how they may be connected to your early relationships, your emotional life, and the ways you have learned to protect yourself.
How Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy can help
Make sense of intense or quickly shifting emotions
Better understand what may be setting off feelings of panic, anger, shame, or hopelessness
Notice patterns in relationships that leave you feeling hurt, misunderstood, or alone
Explore fears of rejection, abandonment, closeness, conflict, or disappointment
Understand why certain interactions may feel especially personal or overwhelming
Build more capacity to pause, reflect, and respond rather than react
Develop a steadier, more compassionate relationship with yourself
Create more choice in how you relate to your emotions and to other people
We will not simply focus on stopping the feelings or getting rid of the conflict. Together, we will become curious about what your emotions and relationships may be communicating, and what they may be asking for.
Is Therapy for Personality Patterns Right for You?
This may be for you if
This work tends to be a good fit if your emotions feel intense or quick to shift, or you often feel misunderstood, rejected, or alone even when that's not what's happening. Maybe you worry people will leave or grow disappointed in you, find yourself caught in painful or unstable relationship patterns, or feel like conflict and chaos follow you even when you want things calmer. You might carry shame, emptiness, or a sense that something's wrong with you, or feel uncertain about who you are outside of your relationships — whether or not you've ever received a personality-disorder diagnosis.
You do not need to have a diagnosis or know exactly how to describe what is happening. You only need to have a sense that you would like things to feel different.
This may not be a fit right now if
This approach may not be the best fit if you're looking for brief, highly structured treatment focused only on immediate symptom reduction. It may also not provide the level of support you need if you're in immediate danger, unable to keep yourself safe, or require a more intensive level of care than outpatient therapy can offer.
That doesn't mean you're beyond help or that therapy can't be useful — it simply means we may need to think carefully about what kind of support is most appropriate for you right now.
What is Therapy for Personality Patterns Like?
This work can feel vulnerable. Together, we may look at the parts of your life that feel messy, painful, confusing, or difficult to say out loud. We will take time to understand what comes up, rather than judge it or rush past it.
I will help you make room for your emotions without becoming overwhelmed or lost in them. We will pay attention to what happens in your relationships—including the therapeutic relationship—because this can offer important information about how you experience closeness, trust, anger, need, disappointment, and care.
You direct where you want to go and what you want to work on. I may offer a question, observation, or interpretation, but this is your treatment.
Virtual Therapy for Personality Patterns & Sense of Self Concerns
CURRENTLY OFFERING
Virtual psychoanalytic psychotherapy to adults located in Maryland, New York, and New Jersey.
COMING SOON
In-person psychoanalytic psychotherapy in Rockville and Montgomery County, Maryland
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Virtual psychoanalytic psychotherapy in Washington, DC.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are "personality patterns," and how is that different from a personality disorder diagnosis?
Personality patterns are the ways you've learned to feel, cope, and relate to others — often developed early, and once helpful, even if they no longer feel sustainable. You don't need a formal diagnosis for these patterns to be worth understanding and working through.
Why do my relationships keep following the same painful pattern?
Relationship patterns often repeat because they're shaped by early experiences that taught you what closeness, trust, or conflict look like — and those lessons keep playing out until they're understood, not just recognized.
What does it mean to have an unsteady "sense of self"?
It means having a harder time knowing your own feelings, values, and needs, especially under stress — you might shift how you present depending on who you're with, or feel unsure who you are when you're alone. This is common, and it's something therapy can help build.
Is this type of therapy only for people who've been diagnosed with a personality disorder?
No. This work is for anyone whose emotional patterns, relationships, or sense of self feel hard to understand — whether or not a diagnosis is part of your history.
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